Joy To The Whirled

Doldrums

2012-02-28T11:41:00.005Z

Today I am mostly fending off a dark mood, so I thought I'd drag myself out of the doldrums and write a post. Tom and Jerry on the telly makes for a pleasing sound, and a cup of coffee staves off the creeping drowsiness. I wish I knew why I feel like this sometimes, but I suppose it's all down to the run of everyday human emotion.

Physically speaking, I have a headache. Coffee probably isn't the best medicine, but I really do need the pep to stay awake. This afternoon I'm going to put on some worship music and lie on the sofa after completing my shortened version of The List. Today is ironing lady day, so I must sort out the ironing from the non-ironing. Sorry to be so dull, I shall try to do better next time.

The List

2012-02-24T14:19:00.000Z

Back on the treadmill of keeping everything tidy, and I have surpassed myself. I've tried so many things to help me over the years, and the thing that always works the best is glorious motivation of The List. This morning I went through my little routine of getting dressed to shoes, shining my sink (thanks FlyLady!) and putting something uplifting on the radio. Then I began The List.

It contains all that I thought I could reasonably have a go at today, with easy wins mixed in with harder tasks. I've done most of the easy wins, and because I was in the zone of ticking off those tasks, I managed to degrease the cooker hood and scrub the splashback tiles too.

There's still a bit to do, but it's only 2.30 and I'm 90% done. Well 90% of The List anyway, there's always more to do. But if I just get The List done, I'll have acheived something today.

a prayer

2012-02-22T12:19:00.000Z

Give me to believe
that thou canst do for me more than
I ask or think,
and that, though I backslide, thy love will never
let me go,
but will draw me back to thee with everlasting
cords;
that thou dost provide grace in the wilderness,
and canst bring me out, leaning on the arm
of my Beloved;
that thou canst cause me to walk with him
by the rivers of waters in a straight way,
wherein I shall not stumble.

Constance

2012-02-13T10:09:00.003Z

I had a phone call this morning from a little girl I've never spoken to before. She wanted to talk to Constance, to organize a play date. This is all very new to me, but it's fun managing a daughter's social life. It's not surprising to me that she's popular - Connie is gregarious, kind, funny and beautiful.

She's also a committed evangelist, which makes her popularity all the more remarkable. A couple of weeks ago, she took postcards with scriptures on them in to class to hand out to all her friends. I was expecting some fallout from that, but it never came. She did it without our knowledge, and was extremely enthusiastic about it when she came out of school.

It's quite a responsibility to look after a heart so on fire for God, do pray for us.

Whitney Houston

2012-02-12T18:23:00.004Z

I've pondering Whitney Houston a little bit today. I only know a little from the speculation surrounding her death, but there is talk of prescription drugs. As someone who is on prescription drugs, I feel a heavy sense of 'There but for the grace of God go I'.

Sometimes depression is such that the idea of taking everything all at once is appealing. That's the obvious thing to happen. But sometimes it's much more insidious - wanting to sleep, so taking a couple more tablets to help you along. I'm no longer on sleeping tablets, thank the Lord, but I can see how the temptation works.

I'm very sorry that a life has ended at such a young age, another reminder of how short and precarious life is.

You're not special

2012-02-11T12:54:00.006Z

Much is made, in modern evanjellybeanism, of how special we each are, how God has a special plan for your life, the Loreal gospel - because you're worth it. Now I don't mean to do make light of the fact that Christians are chosen by an awesome God, but it's all so very me centred instead of Christ-centred.

Personally, I struggle with another aspect to this error. Many times I come to the point of prayer, or bible study, and a voice nags at me. It tells me I am not worthy to speak to a holy God. That my sins are so scarlet there is no hope for me any longer. This lie is the flip side to the Loreal gospel - instead of my being so central to God's plan He can't do without me, I am so special in my sinfulness I am the one He can't save.

Truth is, I need to jettison that error as much as the first. I'm not so special I can't be saved, same as I'm not so special it's all about me. You're not special either - repent and believe, while the time is with you.

Posts and other stuff.

2012-02-10T09:58:00.002Z

I've been pondering posting for quite some time, but rarely have the gumption to put finger to keyboard. It's like my enthusiasm for actually writing a post has disappeared. But away from the computer I have a longing to get back to it, carry on sharing thoughts and events, getting out rants that just need airing.

Today it's the word decadent. You keep using that word. But I think you mean Opulent. Could be wrong of course, and language is a fluid sort of thing, but I have my suspicions.

I'm gearing up to do a school run in the snow this afternoon. The last for a good few days, as it's half term next week. I am looking forward to have everyone back at home again, I do miss them enormously.

Reuben is five now, and going to Boys Brigade tonight for the second time. At the moment he's just finished a dippy egg and is now perusing a dictionary. I love homeschool.

In the swing of things

2011-09-15T11:10:00.002+01:00

So, a week in to school and things are going smoothly, apart from the fact that I can't seem to get the timing right and keep getting there 5 minutes too early. Already we've run into some interesting things to do with faith - Connie had an interesting exchange with her teacher, part of which involved a defense of the bible as the best place to learn about Jesus. Connie was also shocked when her teacher said 'oh my God'. I would ask for your prayers of protection upon Connie, especially for her to keep her tender heart about these things.

Eden is adjusting well, and Aurelia is thoroughly enjoing herself. Reuben wishes I would let him play on the school playground, which makes the school run interesting, to say the least.

I do have a lot of time to myself during the day now, and have yet to find something consistent to do with it. The house is gradually getting tidier, and I have a bible study to prepare for. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon which should prove a logistical challenge. Life is one long social whirl :)

Dress like a pirate

2011-09-05T16:25:00.003+01:00

Friday is Dress Like A Pirate day for my youngest daughter. Who knew school could be so utterly bonkers? It appears that the school basically runs big unit studies - Aurelia is learning with a Pirate theme this term, Constance is going to learn about the Romans.

I have some new shoes for the school run - my favourite red shoes disintegrated on me, so I replaced them with shiny pink flats. I'm not a big shoe person, but I am rather taken with them.

The girls are making the most of their last day today, before school begins tomorrow and the day after. I think they'll be fine - it's me who'll likely be the blubbering wreck on the way home.

Yesterday Eden took notes from the sermon, which was about Noah and the flood. I've never read such stern notes - Judgement and punishment figured heavily. Not afraid to face hard things head on, is our Eden.

Back again

2011-08-30T14:53:00.002+01:00

Well, I'm back from houseparty - it went much better than I was expecting. I managed to hold down some useful conversations - normally I clam up and just squeak nervously when strangers speak to me, so that was a plus. The teaching was very good, and all the children really engaged with it, which is a real answer to prayer.

Now the next hurdle is school, which begins next week. I am really nervous about it, but thankfully that doesn't seem to be translating to the girls, who at the moment are in the kitchen cheerfully making jam tarts from scratch. I'm feeling rather brave that they've attempted pastry without my supervision.

All is well, whatever next week brings.

Busy!

2011-07-30T19:25:00.003+01:00

It's been a bit quiet here - so much to organize and think about, I haven't had much spare to blog about. Uniforms are purchased, bookbags and rucksacks and lunchboxes all sat ready for use in about four weeks time. I think I can say that part of me is now looking forward to the challenge, which hasn't been the case so far.

In a couple of weeks we go on holiday with church friends, on houseparty, which I'm looking forward to immensely - good fellowship, great teaching, it'll be smashing. But of course, it's another thing to organize. Forgive me for going a little quiet - when I have time I'll keep you posted.

More news

2011-07-22T10:53:00.002+01:00

Since starting this journey, coincidentally almost at the inception of this blog, it's been quite the roller coaster. Almost as soon as it was mooted, one of the children had a place at school. A short while later a place was confirmed for my eldest. Now my third daughter has been given a place at the same school as my second.

All my girls out of the house all day, leaving me alone with boisterous number four. I'm still smarting a little. I feel like all my hopes and dreams have been scrunched up into a ball like so much used paper. Everyone is very excited about Aurelia's place, and part of me is too - it's nice to have everything settled at least - but it does rather feel like I'm standing in the middle of a party surrounded by revellers, just not quite getting it.

Waking up

2011-07-21T08:55:00.003+01:00

It's happening very gradually, like a slow incline at the foot of a hill, but slowly my heart is thawing. The door has opened a chink and there is light coming through the gap. Part of that is how I know - I'm aware that I'm casting shadows, things I need to change, and it's the light from the door that is causing those shadows. Hard to stand in sins when the light falls on you.

In a very real sense I'm grateful for the conviction - it's much better than the numbness I've been feeling for months now. So I'm plodding on slowly, trusting that the light will increase as I wait on Him. Trust is a good place to be.

photo

2011-07-16T13:21:00.003+01:00

Here they are - different schools despite the similar uniforms. They've been going to induction days - school proper doesn't start until September. I've got some new curriculum in for Aurelia so she doesn't feel left out with all the attention her big sisters have got. They do look smart, don't they?

First days

2011-07-14T10:09:00.001+01:00

So, two of my children are in school today, while two remain with me at home. Technically, Eden' first day was yesterday, and she did very well. While they had been looking to put her in grade 5, they want her to go into grade 6 because she has very good basic English skills. It was something of a relief to hear that, as I was worrying I'd really let her down on the academic side. No rational reason to think that, mind, just one of those fears.

This morning I walked Connie to first school, and came home with a fistful of consent forms to fill in - including consent to feed the chickens which made me laugh. The school has chickens and their very own forest to explore. She did look adorable in her uniform and gave me a nervous wave as she was taken in to the induction class.

So here I am, waiting for the internet shop to be delivered, while my remaining children play with balloons. I was anticipating the house to be quieter, but it just goes to show who makes all the noise - it's still earsplittingly noisy. Good sounds though. I don't know what I shall do when they're all gone.

6th Birthday

2011-07-11T12:34:00.003+01:00

Today is Aurelia's birthday, and she is celebrating with time in the new pool we have in the garden (well, it would hardly be in the front room, now would it!). It's just one of those blow up deep pools, but the weather is so nice at the moment it's good for them to get the best out of it. The water isn't especially warm, and they've just come back in with blue lips, so I think it might be time for a warm up inside!

I'm baking a cake for her, and we're having a favourite meal of roast chicken. She had dresses and books for presents and is very satisfied with sitting at the table, licking the cake bowl out.

We did a school run yesterday, just to find out how far it was, and the walk took twenty minutes, quite a comfortable distance. Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but at least I'm not dreading it.

Sunlight

2011-07-09T19:00:00.003+01:00

Yesterday I sat with Reuben until he slept. As he was drifting off, I prayed, as I tend to do in those quiet moments. School has been the main player in my prayers these past few weeks, and so it was last night. As I prayed silently, the room was bathed in a beautiful amber light. The sun was setting on the other side of the curtains and it was very much like liquid sunshine had filled the room.

Now, I'm not one for airy-fairy bobbins when it comes to faith, but as that sun filled the room, I was reminded of the goodness and kindness of the Lord, and my heart was greatly moved.

Today we purchased uniform from the uniform shop in town, and it was quite the adventure. I was in a much better frame of mind for it after such a wonderful blessing the night before. Even though my heart is not fully engaged with secular schooling, I was able to put that to one side and join in with the excitement of new clothes. Things are going well.

Tests

2011-07-08T12:59:00.004+01:00

Eden is just off to her last baseline test. She looks very smart in the grey skirt and white blouse we bought for her. Yesterday was the first test, and she did well. In particular they thought she had very good handwriting. Today will be more maths based, and I'm anticipating that she will struggle a bit more because she really doesn't enjoy it.

Then next week, she will do two induction days, Tuesday and Wednesday, and Connie will start on Thursday and stay until the end of term the week after. It's all very much happening. I'm rereading The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, which I tend to rotate with The Pilgrim's Progress. Yesterday night I read this -

A Christian comes to this contentment not by making up the wants of his circumstances, but by the performance of the work of his circumstances

It strikes me that I need to look for the duty in this circumstance. Part of my response to that is this Flylady business - I've got the time to make the house more of a home now. The other is being as cheerful and supportive about the situation to the girls as I can be. The other is to make sure I'm not storing up resentment toward Ant in all this. Work to do, but good work none-the-less.

Control

2011-07-06T17:49:00.003+01:00

I've been pondering this process of change, and realized I'm grieving. I had a vision for how my children would be raised and that vision will never comne to pass. It's a painful feeling. The other thing I've noticed is that there's a lot of pride involved, and also the need to control. I'm handing over control to people I've never met whose worldview may well be very different to mine.

My social worker visited yesterday and seemed quite taken aback that I would go along with my husband's decision even though I didn't agree with it. It's nice to know there is still something different about us.

In domestic news, I'm now FLYing - I'm going to take a guess that many of my readers already know about Flylady or if you don't, you can google - and my sink is now shined on a regular basis, and I have high hopes that my clutter mountain might be tackled before the turn of the century. Nice to know there is still a realm where I can have control and it be a good thing.

Sunshine and uniforms

2011-07-05T10:07:00.002+01:00

It's a glorious day, forecasted to turn to rain later, but I don't mind so much, it's just nice to have the warmth. I'm not really a summer person, but fresh, bright days like this lift my spirits like nothing else. I only wish we had a line in the garden I could peg linens to - through a number of mishaps we have neither long line or rotary drier. It's a combination of children and very soft and sodden earth.

Eden's visit yesterday went well - she has baseline testing to do on Thursday and Friday, and some induction days the following week. Ant bought some basic pieces of school uniform yesterday, skirts and blouses, and suddenly it all feels very real.

Interview and communion

2011-07-04T09:29:00.003+01:00

Today's the day. Eden has gone to her school interview. She was very nervous this morning, and consequently rather bad tempered. She agonized over what to wear, and settled on her Girl's Brigade uniform. We prayed and she set off, and should in fact be speaking to them as I type. I'm nervous for her - she so wants this to be the school, partly because she already knows someone who attends, and partly because even she senses it's better academically.

I have to say I was impressed that they want to test her, and that they are thinking of putting her a year below so she can catch up. Part of me thinks I should be offended by that, but the better part of me is impressed that the school takes her individual needs seriously, and wants to help. If this is the school, I'm praying we know quickly, as this period of waiting has been quite trying.

Good news to start the week, though - I managed to take communion at my church for the very first time. There was a church tea yesterday, and it ran a little late. Consequently I was there when communion was due to start. Ant took the younger three to the park while I went in with Eden. It was a real blessing, so reverent and calm. I could cheerfully do it every week.

Birthdays and bicycles

2011-07-01T09:41:00.002+01:00

Today is my eldest daughter's tenth birthday. Double figures, as she said. She got a digital camera, a Merlin boxset and a writing set. She's quite a keen letter writer so that will do very nicely. We're visiting the Black Country Museum today - it's 'old fashioned' so will no doubt be a hit to my children who all seem to wish they were born in the Victorian era (of course their lives probably wouldn't have been so nice then!).

Yesterday was also marked by a first - Eden and Connie took Aurelia's stabilizers off and helped her to learn to ride her bike without them. You should have seen the moment when she 'got' it - everyone gave her a round of applause and she positively beamed. It was a very special moment.

So far, so good.

2011-06-30T10:25:00.002+01:00

We finally got a phone call from school number two, and despite the delay, they are already looking a better option than school number one. They want to give her a proper assessment to see where she is and where to put her - they are suggesting putting her in year 5, instead of year 6, so that she doesn't have to worry about SATS while she's settling in.

She's going for a visit with Daddy on Monday morning to have a look around and, I think, take the assessment. She's excited but nervous, as you might expect. I'm feeling much more positive, though that may be down to having the first really good night's sleep I can remember for a long time.

a chat

2011-06-28T13:28:00.002+01:00

So Eden asked if we could have a chat yesterday, and we sat down on her bed and made ourselves comfy. She paused and then said "Everyone is asking me how I feel about big school, but how are you?" I could have cried my eyes out at what a thoughtful, caring girl she is.

We also discussed that a boy who lives over the road has asked her out two times already. She said no, and explained that she doesn't 'go out'. She said she's not old enough to get married so there's no point in going out, especially as she's saving her first kiss for her husband. It was very sweet to hear her talk so candidly about her own convictions - it is a great relief as she prepares to go into a system so totally different to the way she has grown up hitherto.

Fishfingers

2011-06-27T14:55:00.002+01:00

Today is hot and wet. Most unpleasant. Makes me long for a frost! We'll be having fishfingers for tea as I can't bear to cook chilli in this heat. Still, fishfingers are cool (though not in custard - sorry Doctor!).

Eden visited a school today. By all accounts it has a strong Christian ethos, which is heartening. We're waiting for another school to confirm or deny they have available space, but I'm thinking the Church of England school, which is also the closest, is looking the most likely.

Connie is all smiles and brightness about her school, Eden is less so - I think she realizes the size of the task ahead and is nervous. I'm nervous for her, but all I can do is encourage her. It's helped me to deal with my troubles too. Thank you all so much for your kind comments and e-mails of encouragement.

Perseverance and school

2011-06-23T08:59:00.003+01:00

Been pondering Perseverance of the Saints. I don't get why it's so controversial - a true believer will persevere to the end. Well, ok. So I know I'm a true believer if I endure through life in faith. Not a glib 'once saved always saved', but a full bodied endurance through all. Sounds reasonable and biblical to me.

Connie has a school place and will begin in a couple of weeks. It's all crashing in on me rather suddenly - we need to organize uniform and sundries - name tags and stationary. I cried about it last night, but what can be done? Nothing at all, it is what it is.

She's home!

2011-06-18T16:33:00.003+01:00

Ant took his parents to visit Eden in the hospital and returned with her (and the parents!). She's tired and a bit cranky, but otherwise right as rain. Thank you for praying, she's out a lot sooner than expected. We celebrated with toffee :D

An update

2011-06-17T16:51:00.000+01:00

'At least I have Jesus with me all the time'.

When your 9 year old reassures you with those words, you've got to be doing something right. She's a lot better than she was, the swelling has come down and she's on regular anti-biotics to control and eliminate the infection. She's the only patient in the bay and I think the nurses are making a bit of a fuss of her - she's totally worth it, I'm so proud of her.

hostable

2011-06-17T07:42:00.000+01:00

We were up bright and early this morning, as Ant went off to visit Eden who is in hospital. She's developed something called cellulitis on her leg, and the infection spread up to glands. So they've kept her in over night and put her on a drip. It's just broken my heart not to be able to be with her, but Ant did that admirably. She wants to see me later today. Ant took in some supplies and her current read - the life of Jim Elliot. Your prayers, naturally, will be appreciated.

Hostable is what Aurelia calls hospital :)

tea parties and ideal housewives

2011-06-15T15:23:00.001+01:00

We're having a tea party. I mentioned it as an idea for Eden's birthday next month, and they liked the idea so much they're having an impromptu party now. Just tea, no vicars sandwiches and cakes, but they're having it in my collection of china teacups and saucers. It's a collection of four right now - they're a mixture of inherited items and charity shop finds. Trouble is, we're running out of milk!

I had a conversation with Eden last night, in which she told me she didn't think I was a very good housewife - I'm sensing a theme with the last few posts on this here blog. I suppose it's a good thing she has an ideal in mind, even if I'm not the example she gets it from. It's mostly Reuben - Ant said a few days ago that he runs rings round me, and he's not wrong. If I'm in one room doing something like washing up, or loading the washer, I can be sure he's in another room making another mess for me to clean up. Right now he's in the kitchen rummaging in the cutlery drawer, so I shall have to cut this short...!

sausages and piano

2011-06-15T11:52:00.000+01:00

Today we're having sausage casserole which is already set up and awaiting heat at about 4pm this afternoon. Such a relief to get that out of the way. School is nearly finished - just mental maths to do with Eden. I admit I put it off as much as she does - maths is not my strong suit, I look at a page of numbers and they all seem to swirl around in front of me!

She's been doing piano practice this morning. She's been having tuition from her grandma for a few weeks now, and is coming along well. Grandma is an accomplished pianist and teacher - she was national accordian champion when she was younger, so we're very grateful for her taking Eden as a pupil, and Eden really appreciates it too.

Sun, school and toothpaste.

2011-06-14T15:04:00.000+01:00

Today the sun is shining, and everything feels that little bit lighter. Not sure why it works that way, but I'm grateful none-the-less. The weather man says it's not going to last, so I've been trying to make the most of it, sitting in the sun while the children play.

We're halfway through school for the day, and I'm beginning to appreciate the benefits of sending them to big school - I lack a lot of confidence in my own abilities, and it would be nice to have someone with experience, especially with Eden. With Constance and Aurelia, I have more confidence because I've already done it with Eden, but Eden is the unknown quantity, breaking ground I haven't touched yet.

On the plus side to it all, we've had some advice about getting them into a local primary that feeds into a good secondary, so we'll have to see how that pans out. I expect we'll have an interview with the head in the next few days.

Tea tonight is fishfingers - I've got dreadful heartburn and can't face anything more complicated. Oh yes, Eden has finally unpacked her overnight bag from Friday night (she went to Granmas house for a piano lesson) which means I can stop using the strawberry stripe toothpaste and start using the grownup paste again!

Doing alright.

2011-06-13T18:15:00.000+01:00

I say daily, it looks like I can most easily get on during the working week, so week daily is probably going to be more accurate. I have a chicken pie cooking in the oven, the third meal from the tasty roast chicken we had on Thursday. I love it when I'm able to eke it out, and that only happens when I'm in a good place, healthwise - so that should tell you how I'm doing right now!

On Thursday we roasted the bird and had all the trimmings - Friday we had chicken apple korma, and today chicken pie with a puff pastry topping. I'm going to make enough sausages casserole to last two days tomorrow. *Does housewife twirl* Soaking roasting pans are all forgotten until next week!

Olympics

2011-06-10T11:54:00.000+01:00

The bank statement came today, with an item of £52 withdrawn by someone called London Tickets. I'm utterly indifferent to the Olympics, but the smaller members of the family, and the head of the household are really quite into the sense of occasion, so they are understandably thrilled to have got tickets to something. We're not sure what yet, but it looks like rowing or cycling. I'm hoping it's cycling, because rowing is a bit blink-and-you-miss-it.

I'm just trying to muster up some gumption to get on with tidying the kitchen and doing school - I have a nasty headache building up behing the eyes and it's eaten into my motivation. It doesn't help that the washing up is a few days old. I'm so not a good housekeeper. In my defense, it's roasting pans that have been soaking, but still, not very impressed with myself.

In the dumps

2011-06-09T10:11:00.000+01:00

I really don't feel very happy with my faith at the moment. Put simply, I feel totally dead inside, and anything to do with faith is leaving me cold. Prayer is a dull chore, bible reading is an exercise in futility and nothing stirs my passions when it comes to sermons or spiritual reading.

I the past few months we've put it down to medication, which makes some sort of sense, but doesn't really help, as I'm not about to stop my medication. So I must find some way of getting on with the present circumstances. I have a little prayer corner in my bedroom, and I'm trying to make a regular visit there everyday, carving out the time from all my other responsibilities.

I feel like all there is in me is mental assent, not faith. I completely lack assurance and it's a horrible place to be - just a pit of darkness.

Not driving

2011-06-08T12:54:00.000+01:00

Today I am trying to escape from under a mountain of ironing. I'm blessed enough to say that Ant will do the actual hot press smoothing bit - my task is to sort the ironing from the non-ironing, which is a monumental task given the size of the pile. Related to that is getting the shopping delivered so he doesn't have to go out late on Thursday, or conversely we don't have to go out to TESCO as a family on Saturday.

I really should learn to drive, it would make things so much easier. Truth is I'm reluctant because I'm somewhat petrified of having control of an enormous potential crashing machine. I should pull myself together, but it's a lot of money for something I'm not remotely committed to. Mum didn't learn until she was 40, so I have half a decade or so to go before I'll feel her stern disapproval in my imagination.

I'm just a big scaredy cat really, as I find it very difficult to use public transport too - always have done, it was the reason why I chose a sixth form college that I could walk to. Anyway, break time over, I need to go and talk pronouns with my kids :-)

Tuesday

2011-06-07T08:52:00.000+01:00

And of course, we had a really good start to the week, with good attitudes and encouraging levels of competency from all parties. Connie and Aurelia are really engaging with reading at their different levels, and Eden realy seemed to 'get' maths yesterday.

Someone in the comments mentioned being able to say 'I told you so', but that's about the coldest comfort I can imagine. I want them to do well, that's why this is such a sticky issue. I don't want to have to say 'I told you so' or indeed for Ant to say it to me.

This isn't about me winning or losing an argument, it's about trying to do the best thing educationally for my four children. The problem is when I'm ill, Ant is left to try and hold down a fulltime job and do school as well - that's why Eden has fallen behind a little.

I'm oscillating between thinking School is a good idea, and being determined to carry on to the best of my ability. Thank you all for your input and prayers.

The weekend

2011-06-05T21:18:00.000+01:00

It's been quite a good weekend, all things considered. Doctor Who was good fun on Saturday, though it didn't quite live up to the hype, which is hardly surprising given the build up it had. Eden very cleverly worked it out, I was a bit cheesed off because I'd accidently been spoilered for something at the end and so I didn't get the spoiler-free experience I was planning, so it was something of an anti-climax.

The highlight of Sunday, quite naturally, was church - a really good sermon, with just the right balance between exposition and application. Then after the service some very good friends invited us back to their house for lunch. They're a fellow home ed family, and personally I was able to share my misgivings about the new path we're going to tread, and they were very supportive. Not judgemental, not trying to persude as either way, just there as friends.

I'm still feeling quite raw about school - it's hard not to take it personally, though I understand Ant's reasoning. To me it just feels like swapping one set of problems and responsibilities for another set. Still, there's a long time between now and September, plenty of time for me to get used to the idea, or for Ant to change his mind.

A sea change

2011-06-03T08:19:00.000+01:00

What a difference 24 hours makes. Ant has decided that we're not going to home educate any longer. It's been very difficult to keep up with it due to my ill health, and undeniably, the older two are behind on their maths. English is no problem, and I can at least comnfort myself that I taught them to read, and read well.

It's been such a big part of my identity that I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with myself. It feels very much like the ground has been taken out from under me. But I suppose this is one of those 'Do you really believe in submission?' moments.

I could dig my heels in, have an almighty paddy and just generally make the atmosphere of the house horrendous. That's not to say I have to like it, but it does mean I have to take a step back and accept that my husband has the casting vote and trust his judgement.

Your prayers would be appreciated, most especially for the girls who are going to have a big life change to deal with, but also for me, as I try and live out what I've been giving lipservice to for 10 or so years.

The Doctor, the crown and the hospital.

2011-06-02T12:45:00.000+01:00

The girls are watching Doctor Who. It's a common occurence. I'm happy to say that, after a series and a half, Matt Smith has turned out to be an excellent Doctor and all my fears were misplaced. We're approaching the mid point of the new series, after which it will take a break until October, and it's been marvellous fun, requiring a lot of the viewer and adding layer upon layer of challenging content. I'm loving it, in case that wasn't clear.

Aside from the Doctor, we're still in Egypt. Planning on making a papier mache upper kingdom crown. Or is it a lower kingdom crown? I get mixed up. It's the white one, anyway. Built up on a round ballon and hopefully wearable when it's all done and dusted. I'm not quite sure why we're doing it, but that's one of the fun things about home education - you never quite know where you're going to end up next.

I've had a hospital appointment today, part of my ongoing care plan after yet another blip in the past fortnight. Things are going ok, but it all flares up after somebody decides to tinker with my medication, don't know why. Don't really know enough about my medication, to be honest. It's meant a morning off work for Ant, and he also bought some own-brand cornettos. Strawberry. I was very happy.

Why Joy to the Whirled?

2011-06-01T17:53:00.001+01:00

It's an obvious question - I already have a blog that was moderately successful, why start a new one from scratch? I'm quite happy with what I acheived with Musings of an English Muffin, but at it's best, it was a polemical, opinionated blog and that's truly not where I am any more. Instead of gradually clogging it up with TIWIARN style posts, I thought it would be neater to just draw a line under it and start again with a different feel.

I shan't be deleting Musings, as I know people have linked to it in various media, and it's a pet peeve of mine that someone can spend years putting out content and then just wipe it out with a single button click. What a monumental waste of effort that is - careful now, I'm starting to sound a bit opinionated. Well yes, I'm still me, and opinions will creep from time to time, but this is going to be more of a journal than an newspaper column.

Naturally, I still have my faith so expect that to figure heavily. But I'm also a mother, home educator, avid reader and Doctor Who fan. It'll be eclectic - though nothing to that of Dan Phillips - couldn't even hope to equal the work he puts into the Hither and Thither.

No, it'll just be me, day to day ruminations of a less than perfect housewife. I hope you'll join me as and when you can.